The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Review by Loc

There’s nothing better than seeing centaurs and minotaurs and talking badgers and battling mice. Well, actually there is, like almost anything. But that doesn’t mean those are bad things. It just means those are funny things, and maybe even unintentionally funny, especially in a movie about talking badgers and big-ass lions. Maybe you say you’ve already seen it, like in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. However, can you really pass up the sequel playing now? Quick hit: yes, yes you can.

The second installment of the Narnia series hits the theaters with a full load of humans, a half load of Narnians, and pinch of White Queen, mixed with a tiny sprinkle of Aslan. Plus, the new ingredient of Prince Caspian, the European, hair-flowing titular character of the second film. All told, with more focus on human, the talking beasties look funnier and goofier than before. It’s slightly jarring to reinsert yourself into the world of Narnia when the talking badger doesn’t show up until 45 minutes into the film. Nonetheless, once you get used to the dwarves and the centaurs, it’s fun times to be had by all.

Where Prince Caspian takes a greater step than its predecessor is in the story. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe suffered from some meanderings as it was forced to introduce the world of Narnia. Much like the novel, the first film spent time to flush out the fantasy world, which played slow at times. With Prince Caspian, the actual driving point of the film isn’t an exploration of the world, but rather involves a specific plot for the young Prince. It seems he is the rightful heir to the throne, but his evil uncle has designs on usurping the crown. Hamlet this is not, but evil uncles and royalty seem to have a bad history. To make a long movie short, Caspian flees to the woods, where he finds that the mythical Narnians do exist and that maybe his forefathers drove them into hiding. Stupid humans. Cut to gathering of armies, the returns of the original humans from the first flick, and some big battles, and you got yourself a movie, whoo hoo.

Yet, Prince Caspian misses the mark a bit. First, while it may have a more direct story, it still drags on at times. With a running time of 144 minutes and not a whole lot of action-packed adventure, watching young kids walk and talk with annoying world perspectives gets a little hard to handle.

Second, the four main children are still only at 50% likeability ratings. The youngest Lucy is bearable, and the younger Edmund is actually quite good, showing a sense of maturation and poise from the first. However, the older two still suck, with Susan being blah and lifeless, and the eldest Peter being a full-blown Richard most of the time. That kid whines and struts like someone who needs a good shaking. Gimme a shot, I’ll shake the shit out of him.

Third, there’s not a whole lot of epic grandeur played out in this flick. Maybe the presence of a real story made it harder to be majestic and wide-scoping, or maybe it just wasn’t that good. Much like the first, this flick plays out like an above-average medieval flick, but nothing more than that. In a word, it’s mundane.

However, there are good spots, but mostly out of sheer boredom and cynicism. For example, the centaurs are a fun sight. Not because you have half-men-half-horse warriors walking around. No no, it’s because the main centaurs carry themselves like badass gangsters. Yup, what you have here is Narnian hip-hop, gangtuars with a noticeable pimp strut and curled lip expression that even 50 Cent would be proud of if he saw it. Gangtaurs, who would have thought of that?

Then you have the awesome talking bear, who apparently plays a significant role in the novel. In the movie, he’s reduced to random scenes where his presence is damn near hilarious. His first real scene is also where he first talks, and if you’ve never heard a stupid, oafish bear, you’re about to now. Then you have him standing around during the big king-vs-king battle, and he looks like he’s about to pull a Conan O’brien “masturbating bear” bit at any second. Lastly, please please please pay attention when the good-byes start up near the conclusion of the flick. Cause that bear-waving is a bust-up laugh-riot.

Ah, so in conclusion, the best parts of the movie are actually random jokes that I made up by myself. The majority of the flick is average, ho-hum stuff that doesn’t get anyone excited. And the bad parts of the film are splattered throughout, from annoying actors to annoying animals. Overall, it’s not a bad flick, it’s just not a great flick either. Out of five teenaged Kings and Queens of Narnia, Prince Caspian can claim three crowns. Just go for the bear and laugh.