Blades of Glory

Review by Loc

Sometimes, sports send-ups are comedic genius. Take something like Happy Gilmore, Adam Sandler’s send-up on golf. Immature? Sure. Inane? Of course. But, starting with the opening montage of water-hose hilarity, all the way up to the mini-golf training, pure brilliance. Shooter McGavin, hello? “I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.” The logical response would be, “You eat pieces of shit for breakfast,” which is Sandler’s exact remark. Shooter’s response, “…no.” Ahh, so satisfying. Stuff like Ben Stiller’s Dodgeball, sure, it’s aight. Typical Stiller, over-the-top short-man complex coupled with Vince Vaughn everyman mannerisms. OK stuff, nothing genius, but amusing still. Where does Will Ferrell’s Blades of Glory fit in? Quick hit: A little less than good, and definitely not genius.

There’s the current group of comedic actors who seem to turn out a new one every year on rotation: Ben Stiller, Owen and Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, and Vince Vaughn. Sometimes they go at together, witness Wedding Crashers and Dodgeball. Other times, they’re on their own, with Night at the Museum, You, Me and Dupree, and Talladega Nights. On their own, each settles into their own signature comedy stylings. Stiller has his goofy good-guy routine, see Meet the Parents for basic outline. For Will Ferrell, the idiotic, rambunctious doofus is his calling card of choice. Sometimes Ferrell ratchets down the prickishness, as he did with Elf, turning up the man-child idiocy notch instead. But with Blades of Glory, you get full outlandish, misguided blockhead, so be prepared.

Yup, Blades of Glory is the perennial Will Ferrell comedy: outlandish take on simple subject, Ferrell cranked up to 10 on Ferrellisms, and cookie-cutter comedy plot. With Will Ferrell, either you enjoy his over-the-top stupid-guy shtick, or you think it’s just too stupid to be funny. Or, you can be like me and accept it begrudgingly. For Blades of Glory, Ferrell knocks a couple moments out of the park with statements so stupid they’re just horrible, but so clever that you laugh without remorse. But, there are also times dumb enough to knock your IQ down a couple points. For the most part, his comedy is balanced enough to keep you chuckling throughout the flick.

For the comedic plot, well, it is what it is. There’s nothing clever about it, from the trailers alone you know what happens and how the story is going to unfold. There are several notices areas where plot devices just appear to keep the movie going, often killing off previous characterizations and shoe-horning performances to make the story get to the next scene. There are the times I wish the writers would exert a little more effort into making things a little more coherent. Granted, this type of comedy doesn’t need to be built like an Oscar contender, but it helps to have a path from Point A to Point B instead of just jumping there like you’re playing Chinese Checkers. Much of my initial dislike of Anchorman was specifically for this reason, incoherent plot points that could cause migraine headaches. However, maybe Blades of Glory will end up being like Anchorman, better on cable viewing because the expectations of a $10 movie ticket aren’t included while lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon.

I’ve saved the most troubling piece of the film for last: the sports send-up. Sometimes cheeky spoofs work just fine: Dodgeball and Happy Gilmore come to mind. Unfortunately, Blades of Glory misses with its sport take. It’s not the fake Olympic-type events or international skating board featuring legendary skaters like Nancy Kerrigan, Dorothy Hamill, and Brian Boitano. It’s not even the amazingly fake skating routines that feature CGI-Shaolin Soccer-type jumps and flips.

Nope, the problem comes from a lack of pseudo-realism in the sports presentation. As embarrassed as I might be, I’ve watched my limited share of figure skating during the quadrennial Olympic telecasts of years gone-by. And with my limited knowledge, even I know that triple axels are standard jumps, that skating routines have to include a sizeable mix of twirls and twists, and quad jumps are now what impresses the judges. So why does this sports-goof movie spend so little time on goofing on the skating, throwing pointless scenes on the ice where a single jump is showcased and the rest of the 30 seconds is Will Ferrell slapping his ass as a wind machine blows his hair. See, I don’t mind the stupidity of the scenario, but this flick would have been better served with complete over-the-top jumps, twists, and flips on the ice. Instead, we’re treated to one minute close-ups of Ferrell or John Heder wiggling their heads as they pretend to play to the crowd. That’s where it misses the most, we needed more Iron Lotus, more awkward male-male skating moves, more Shaolin Soccer styled action! The funniest scene of the movie was Ferrell and Heder’s first performance on the ice, where physical positions and facial expressions left you laughing. They should have capitalized on more of that.

Overall, Blades of Glory is a decent film. Comedy, decent. Sports funnies, decent, Performances, decent. It’s not a bad film, and there’ll be times you laugh uncontrollably. However, there are an equal amount of moments where Ferrell isn’t funny no matter how hard he tries, and scenes drag on in uncomfortable monotony. Out of a perfect 6.0, Blades of Glory nails a 3.6, a wobbly landing makes it a little less than solid. You can always wait for it on cable, where it can live with Anchorman as laughfests during a lazy Sunday.