Legally Blonde: The Musical

Review by Loc

So, um, yeah, I saw the, um, y’know, Legally Blonde musical. BUT, I’m OK with that. Moving on, what better way to capitalize on a hit movie from six years ago than to make it a Broadway musical? Didn’t they already do that with The Interview with a Vampire? Didn’t it absolutely suck? And not in the throat-bite, go-for-the-jugular suck, but like, it was so bad they tried to redo the whole thing before it officially opened in New York, type of way. Yeah, well, if you can fail once, might as well try to fail bigger again. How was this latest movie-turned-musical? Quick hit: pink is the new blah.

Legally Blonde: The Musical focuses on the familiar story of Ellen Woods, a superficial Los Angeles girl living in her uptown world. Rather than spend too much time recapping a story most are familiar with, I’ll just say: vapid chick follows callow ex-boyfriend to Harvard Law School, learns to be independent and self-sustaining, hits roadblock and major blow to self-esteem, all before recovering and saving the day in pink. Can you add more clichés in there? I object!

Look, I have no idea what I objected to, but I do know it was out of place. Much like the musical I saw. Aside from the culturally light plot, Legally Blonde: The Musical missed on one major, major note. The music was not memorable. Not at all. None of it. Well, one part of one chorus, which went something like, “Ohhhh, my God, OHHH MYYYYY God.” But the vapid, inane lyrics aren’t to blame, rather all the musical numbers are mundane and uneventful. There’s not hook, nothing drawing the audience in, making the big “musical” part of the musical a severely lacking effort.

The acting was sufficient. Laura Bell Bundy is a very solid Elle Woods. She hits the right mix of LA pop superficial with hidden heart of gold. Never descending into annoying levels of vapidness, Bell Bundy brings out the likeability of Elle with ease and natural charm. Her voice is very good as she hits on all of her tunes, none of which I actually remember.

There’s other actor who do a good job in their roles of super-ex Warner, nerdy mentor Emmett, icy-cold Vivian, and shark-like Professor Callahan. I could look them up in my playbill, but none of them are brand name stars yet. Maybe in a couple years when this show goes on the road they’ll do some stunt-casting with a fading pop-star to liven the ticket sales. Until then, this cast is very good, very likeable, and very watchable.

There are a couple of technical points to hit on. First, to keep her vapid, LA airhead voices on stage, they created a Sorority Greek chorus, where three of her friends continue to show up. Yippee for the mind-numbing exchanges and awkward transitions. Second, major use of trapdoors and sliding props are cool, when unnoticeable. Maybe its early in the run, maybe they’re working out the kinks, but everything that moved around seemed like it was worked into the show. Thus, having the gaping trap door open for 10 seconds before Sorority Greek chorus pops out, unsettling to say the least. Whereas something like The Phantom of the Opera used the stage transitions as a way to mystify the audience, this musical just lays it out there like a soggy blanket.

The biggest disappointment is the fact that Legally Blonde: The Musical had no voice, it had no individuality, no distinction. With a serviceable cast, mediocre stage direction, only the music and story could drive this show. And neither does a bang up job of it. As mentioned before, the music is completely forgettable. And the story is clichéd beyond all hope. There were two moments when the show came into its own, lived off its own energy and engaged like it should have. One involved the only musical number I remember, which was titled “Gay or European”. Politically correct, not at all, but poking fun at itself and the absurdity of the story, definitely. The second involved an impromptu River Dance, completely uncalled for, but set up earlier with a bang-up delivery. Excellent foot wagging.

Overall, Legally Blonde: The Musical doesn’t live up to the built up success from its cinematic counterpart. Yes, it’s always fun to go see live theater, but with such middling success, this musical is difficult to recommend. Out of 10 sorority sisters, Legally Blonde: The Musical pinkie swears to mild 5. Probably better off renting the movie than seeing the music.